I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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