She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
