Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
