I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
