: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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