bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
