yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
