Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Let's get the cat blown out
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
