i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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