hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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