Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
