So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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