Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize