can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
