we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
