K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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