Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
