Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize