I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
