I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
