ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
