Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I AM VODKA MAN
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
where are my eyebrows?
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