I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
