I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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