Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
