So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
