My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
