:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
