After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
not ubering you a puppy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
