oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize