you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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