just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
