i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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