Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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