dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
