Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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