i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
