Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?