so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!