Texts From Last Night

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  (260): View more from Indiana

  We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.

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  (260): We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs. http://tfl.nu/wdfj
  Replies (9) Good night (858) Bad night (3408) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book

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  (813): Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book http://tfl.nu/eyxq
  Replies (12) Good night (2688) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  She just used a chaser for red wine.

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  (904): She just used a chaser for red wine. http://tfl.nu/vv6f
  Replies (22) Good night (658) Bad night (5601) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.

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  (308): whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on. http://tfl.nu/zd9d
  Replies (28) Good night (1112) Bad night (5108) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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  (973): when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/c6uc
  Replies (17) Good night (1379) Bad night (4396) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.

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  (321): The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers. http://tfl.nu/lnvf
  Replies (22) Good night (5717) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.

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  (770): She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut. http://tfl.nu/onts
  Replies (29) Good night (5540) Bad night (1095) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.

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  (615): Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night. http://tfl.nu/5pdk
  Replies (13) Good night (3814) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat

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  (847): just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat http://tfl.nu/d5wq
  Replies (11) Good night (2835) Bad night (1047) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?

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  (571): What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song? http://tfl.nu/zr38
  Replies (26) Good night (3135) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.

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  (952): I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me. http://tfl.nu/xnge
  Replies (55) Good night (10438) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye

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  (318): I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye http://tfl.nu/xi6q
  Replies (6) Good night (2417) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.

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  (778): Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties. http://tfl.nu/x4bh
  Replies (3) Good night (1347) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I feel like death gave me a hand job

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  (505): I feel like death gave me a hand job http://tfl.nu/81uy
  Replies (12) Good night (464) Bad night (1457) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.

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  (+44): I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten. http://tfl.nu/hxkk
  Replies (1) Good night (1087) Bad night (281)

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