What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
