Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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