his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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