Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
