And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
