I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
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I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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