so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom