do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.