half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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