You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize