atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
