I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
