my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
