U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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