please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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