I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
