My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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