My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
