Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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