His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
