He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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