Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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