i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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