i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
