I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
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Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
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I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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