It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
