i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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