he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and she was petting her beer can
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
40s are totally the cure
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
